Friends With Benefits and Not Friend Zoned
We all know that meeting girls these days can be pretty hard. Now more then ever before people are leading more solo lives. With our laptops and cell phones to entertain us we don’t need as much face to face human interaction as we used to which makes becoming her friend, let alone friend with benefits, so hard.
Now a days when you see a cute girl on the street there is an even money chance that she has earbuds in signaling to the world that she doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Approaching any girl on the street is awkward, but it is much worse for one that is already putting up defensive signals.
If you are able to crack a girls initial defenses and become part of her life then you really need to succeed and make it all the way. Becoming someone that she is willing to consider a friend is a low percentage thing and you must maximize every chance you get.
But far too often guys end up getting ‘friend zoned’ and not getting what they truly desire. Sure you may not mind having her as a friend, but we all know what you really are after. But to even get to that point where you make your move you first need to make the initial steps.
Where To Meet Your New Female Friend
There are many ways to meet women but all of them are pretty inefficient from an attempt to success standpoint. If you see a pretty girl anywhere go ahead and talk to her and see how it goes. No need to have a fear of rejection just give it a shot.
But how many times are you really going to have a chance to approach one? How often are you going to have the balls to do it? And how often is she going to be receptive. Take your chances when you get them, hope for the best, but don’t have this be your only way.
Online dating is the easiest way to meet women and even though you aren’t going to bang a high percentage of the ones you meet you can contact so many you don’t need to have a great success rate.
In an hour you can send out messages to as many women as you could approach in real life over a few month stretch. Speed up the process because it is all a numbers game.
But this isn’t about online dating, if you want more tips on that check out the online dating section.
Make Women Laugh
The best way for men to get women is to make them laugh. Everyone loves to enjoy life and laugh. If you can be an entertaining guy to be around then she will give you a shot.
People spend to much time staring at gadgets these days. Everyone is looking for a person that can entertain them and give them a break from that. If you can fill that void you will be someone she wants spend more time with.
You need to not overdo it though. Don’t think that you are a stand up comic on open mic night. There is a delicate balance being funny and being annoying. If you try to hard she will smell it and it will turn her off.
Of course many guys know this already and they send out some crazy opening messages online like ‘wanna go to the north pole and ice skate with penguins?’ or anything random like that. You can try that, but you don’t need to go that far.
When the opportunity to be funny presents itself capitalize on it.
Be An Attentive Friend and Textmate
If you were able to meet a girl either in person or online and get her number the next step is your text game. Now you need to be a mix of an entertaining person to text with as well as a good friend and textmate.
What women want out of a friend is different then what men want. If you start texting with a lot of women you will notice that they are always talking about some sort of problem.
They are so tired, they are sick, something bad happened at work, or any other form of complaint. As a guy your natural reaction is to try and come up with a solution to a problem.
That is how men work. There is a problem, lets solve it. If your friend has a problem and you want your friend to be happy and not sad you will try and advise them on how to solve it. If you give great advice you will feel like you really helped out and improved your standing in this friendship.
Wrong! Women aren’t telling you this so you can solve their problem. OK if they ask for your assistance then yes they want help, but if it is just normal bitc… errr complaining then what they really want is support.
‘I am so sorry to hear that I hope you get well soon.’ ‘I know you have been working so hard this week, you need to take a long rest tonight, you deserve it.’ ‘I can’t believe your co-worker did that he is such a jerk. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.’
They want someone to listen to their problem and give them some emotional support. They need someone else to know how tough things are for them and if you give a reply like that you show that you understand them and care.
The being funny and entertaining will make them want to meet up with you and hang out. The emotional support will help them build trust and realize you really do care.
From Friends To Friends With Benefits
Now that you two are good friends the goal is to get alone with her. Whether at your place or hers it doesn’t matter but yours is probably better. You should know enough about her by now that you can have a good ‘reason’ for her to come over.
If she likes some movie you just rented it off Netflix. If she likes anything you have something awesome at your place you need to show her. Give her some sort of excuse in her mind for why she is going to your home other then to hook up.
Girls are horny and want sex too. What they (or most of them) don’t want is to feel like a slut after knowingly going over to a guys house with the intent to bang. It just needs to ‘happen’ without it being the plan.
You are her good friend why can’t she hang out at your place? Exactly. When she gets there make sure you are sitting very close to her on the couch. You need to be making body contact (not groping) and cuddling together.
Be a bit touchy feely but not in a pervy way. Get her used to physical contact. The best way to do this is to make silly jokes or teases (that aren’t mean spirited in any way) and then laugh and lean into her.
You can even bring up her ‘big problems’ she has told you about recently and put an arm around her as she tells you about them and tell her it will be OK. If she is stand-offish from your touchy feely nature back off but try again once the movie is on.
Stand up to go to the bathroom or the kitchen and when you come back sit closer. When a boring part of the movie hits just go for it and try to kiss her. If she stops you try again and if she stops you twice back off.
Wait ten minutes and try again. Any time she says no you need to stop or slow down, but its OK to try again. Girls like to feel wanted and the harder you try the more turned on she may get.
Of course this might not work at all. There is no magic way to make a girl want it, she either does or she doesn’t.
Stay Out Of The Friend Zone and Move Quickly
You need to make your move early, and you need her to know what your intent is once you make it. Don’t go in for one kiss, get rejected, and then just sit there for the rest of the movie feeling down.
She is still sitting there next to you on the couch and you still have a shot. From here it kind of depends on what your goals are. If all you want is sex and don’t want to continue being friends with her if that isn’t possible then just keep trying to kiss her (while backing off if she says no, don’t force her.)
If you are fine being friends only then probably best to not try again. Far too many guys that are really only interested in sex make that one attempt, get rejected, and then continue to spend countless hours hoping that ‘next time it will be different.’
The truth is it probably won’t be. The next time it is very likely to go the same way. Find out if this is a friends with benefits or friend zone situation. If it isn’t what you are after fire up the dating sites again and move on to the next one.
If she does happen to kiss you back and things go as planned make sure you are skilled in bed so that you can make this be a continuing FWB relationship and not just a one night stand.
Hopefully these tips will help you get friends with benefits and not friend zoned.