How To Break Up With Someone
There are many different thoughts on how to break up with someone and everyone has their own opinion on what the best way really is. The truth is, like in most things in life, there is no set in stone best way.
The first question you need to ask yourself is are you trying to do this the easiest way for all parties, or do you want to show the other person the ‘proper respect that they deserve.’
The thing is the world is changing at a very rapid rate and one of the ways it is doing so is with showing proper respect. Many people consider those tactics to be obsolete now, not only in dating but life in general.
You also need to factor in what type of person the other is and how much they would even care about this respect. Many people would prefer to get it over the easy way instead of having it done face to face.
Well lets take a look at some of the pros and cons to doing the most common ways to break up with someone right now.
Breaking Up With Someone Face To Face
Traditional types will tell you that this is the only way that it should be done, that stupid respect thing remember? You are showing them that proper respect that they deserve.
Or you are blindsiding them to their face and hitting them with bad news that they would much rather take in alone instead of in front of you. Put yourself in their shoes, do you really want to have a face to face conversation with someone that is dumping you? Most people would say no.
Some people will even do it at the end of a dinner in a crowded restaurant. How unthoughtful is this? If you are going to do the face to face break up at least do it in privacy.
Breaking Up By Phone Call
You at least owe them a phone call right? 30 years ago this was considered the rude way to do it, nowadays this is going above and beyond. While it is a lot easier to have this conversation on the phone then face to face in a crowded restaurant is it really necessary?
At some point people need to realize that these formalities are things of the past. Does it really make it better to break up with someone by phone? And if so why other then ‘show them respect?’
Breaking Up By Text
This is the cleanest and easiest way to break up with someone. Don’t invite them out to a nice dinner and sand bag them, if you think about it that is the most disrespectful way to do it.
You are having them get ready for a nice night and the crushing them. It is like offering a kid an ice cream cone and then throwing it on the floor right before you give it to them.
Breaking up by text is the way to go. ‘Hey I like you a lot as a person but I don’t see a future here, hope everything works out for you.’ You broke it off nice and easy and things are done.
Now they don’t have to ‘lose face’ in front of you and deal with that. The only way that you can do it better is to try and make sure they receive the message when they are at home. If you know their life routine well try and send a text at a time they are likely to see it when they are home alone.
Don’t send it 5 minutes before they have some big meeting at work if it can be avoided.
Breaking Up By Ghosting
This might be one time where the no respect crowd has a point. You really do owe it to the person to let them know that things are over so they can start to move on. Nobody likes to admit that a relationship has ended and even if they think you are ghosting them they will keep trying.
The longer it goes on the tougher it will get and that really isn’t being fair. A text isn’t hard to send, while saying you should ‘have the balls’ to break up to someones face isn’t fair (because it is worse for them then you) you should be able to send a text and say it is over.
Don’t make the other party sit there wondering what is going on for a long time and hold out hope. Let them know it is over so you both can move on.
Lets Play The Analogy Game
Lets say you have worked somewhere for awhile and then one day when you show up to work the boss calls you into the office. He gives you the ‘its not you its me’ routine and says you are fired in the most polite way.
At least he showed you the respect of doing it to your face right? Or would you rather NOT have woken up early, NOT have gotten dressed for work, NOT have driven in, and NOT had to deal with the losing face aspect.
A text after work the night before would have been a lot better. Sure it still would have sucked, getting fired (or dumped) is never going to be a pleasant experience.
This is about making the best out of a bad situation. This is one of those rare times in life where the easy way is also the right way. When you are trying to figure out how to break up with someone its OK to take the easy way.