Noobs Guide To Southeast Asian Girly Bars
If you have only been to strip clubs in the western world and have never been to a girly bar in Asia you probably have a much different impression of them in your mind then what they are really like. First off don’t expect them to be like a strip club because they certainly aren’t that.
They are similar but the differences are quite drastic. The actual atmosphere inside of a strip club is much better as the girls are actually dancing and showing off their sexy bodies. In an Asian girly bar for the most part the girls just stand on stage, some will do a light shuffling of their feet but don’t expect any pole dances or twerking.
A quick pause for twerking, granted this girl isn’t Asian, but this is probably the greatest twerking video ever made so who cares.
And instead of one or two girls on the stage there will be a lot of girls taking up pretty much the whole stage. Not every girly bar is alike but in general this is how it goes. For instance Jakarta has their own version which are sex clubs which you can read more about here.
But for the most part we are talking about the ones you mostly find in the Philippines and Thailand which are the two biggest spots for nightlife in Asia. The setup in both is pretty similar.
Entering a Southeast Asian Girly Bar
When you first walk in you will probably be approached by a waitress or mamasan that will try and seat you. A mamasan is the manager of the girls and will try and steer girls your way. Some guys like to buy the mamasan a drink and ask her questions about what certain girls will and won’t do, but that isn’t necessary.
When you get seated you will be asked to buy a drink and can get a menu if you want to see the prices. This will all happen very quickly and there can be a lot of ‘drink pressure’ in these places. They don’t really hide the fact that they are trying to get you to spend as much money as possible.
You can sit where they suggest or choose your own seat. Some guys like to sit right up by the stage for a better view, others prefer to hide in the shadows.
Most bars will have 1 stage with all the seats facing it, some bars may have a smaller stage as well. In places like Pattaya and Bangkok the stage might rotate like a carousel so you can see all of the girls.
Sometimes the girls are in bikinis with full bikini bottoms, other times they will be in thongs. Usually their breasts will be covered but some bars are topless (more topless in Thailand than Phils, maybe that is why there are more expats living in Thailand.)
It probably won’t be long after you have bought your drink and are looking around that a girl (or girls) will come up to you and ask if they can sit with you. If the girl doesn’t do it herself a mamasan or waitress may push for it by asking if you like any girls.
If a girl does sit with you then you will be asked to buy her a ladies drink if you want her to stay.
What is a Ladies Drink?
Ya they don’t have those at the strip clubs you are used to so that may be a bit confusing. It is pretty common all around Asia for guys to go to bars where girls work and buy girls drinks (at inflated prices) to have the girls stay with them.
For the locals this usually happens at karaoke bars, for the tourists or expats in Thailand or The Philippines it is at these girly bars. Lets say you are in Angeles City and your beer cost 50 pesos and a different drink cost 100, the ladies drink will probably cost in the 150-250 range.
This is how you buy yourself some time to sit with the girl and see if you are compatible. Don’t expect to get some great lap dance and have free reign to feel all over her body by buying one ladies drink, it is possible in some bars or with some girls, but for the most part 1 drink isn’t going to get that result.
In some wilder bars buying drinks can lead to lap dances, tits out, handjobs or even blowjobs but that is pretty rare and you will have to be spending a lot. Definitely don’t expect that unless you either see it going on with other people there or have heard it is possible on some expat message boards.
Buying a ladies drink is not mandatory and you can sit in a bar all day without getting one as long as you buy a drink for yourself. If you don’t buy any drinks you are unlikely to have any company, but some guys prefer it that way.
The main reason to buy a ladies drink is so that you can figure out if you want to barfine the girl and we will get to that in just a second. Some guys like to do a bit of an ‘interview’ process before they decide to barfine a girl to make sure she will do all the things they hope to do.
Certain interview questions you may want to ask are how long will she stay, can you do multiple rounds, does she do blowjobs, do you have to wear a condom, or any other things you may want to do. Quick note on condoms, in SEA they are pretty small, stock up on your own before you come.
It isn’t that you pay the barfine and then she does whatever you want her to do all night so confirm she will do the things you hope to do before you pay that barfine. Usually if you pay a barfine a girl will stay with you all night and a few rounds will be allowed.
What Is A Barfine?
A barfine is what you pay the bar to allow the girl to leave work early. She is scheduled to work until maybe 3am and if you want her to leave (with you) at 11pm you have to pay for that. Technically you aren’t paying the bar so she can have sex with you but everyone here knows the deal.
Barfine amounts and whether or not the girl gets a cut is different from place to place. In Thailand the barfine is generally pretty small and the girl gets none of it, instead you give her a sizable tip that the bar gets none of.
In the Philippines it is quite different. For instance in Manila you will pay a big barfine of around 3000 pesos and still be expected to give the girl a big tip as well.
In Angeles City you will pay the 1500-3500 barfine and no tip is required because the girl gets paid some of the barfine, but most guys give a 500ish tip as long as the girl did what she said she would do.
These prices will definitely differ from city to city and even bar to bar. They also change often so if you want to know exactly how much a bar costs hop on one of the Philippines expat message boards or Thailand expat message boards and inquire before you go.
Sometimes they won’t want you to use the word ‘barfine’ and this is particularly true in Angeles City. Some bars have their own term for it and you may want to ask the girl or the mamasan ‘if the girl can leave with you’ instead of asking about a barfine.
You can find bar girls on Filipino Cupid for a discounted rate or even a freebie sometimes.
Are Barfines Legal?
There have been some raids on bars over the past few years but not very often and customers are almost never taken in. When the raids happen they are generally because there are some underage girls working in the bars and if so the owner and manager can end up in jail for a long time.
If you do happen to be very unlucky and have a bar get raided while you are there then just remain calm and answer whatever questions the police ask. There is nothing illegal about sitting in the bar so you don’t have anything to worry about.
You might be inconvenienced for awhile as they ask everyone questions but you shouldn’t end up in jail or anything like that. Remain calm, answer the questions, and don’t make a big deal out of anything. Never make an Asian cop lose face and show him that he is displeasing you.
There has only been one customer who got detained for any lengthy period of time and he was caught in the act of having sex with a girl on site in one of the short time bars on Raymond Street in Angeles City. Those bars don’t do on site action anymore and even he was eventually set free and is back in his home country.
Millions of guys go into Asian girly bars every year and you don’t have anything to worry about.
Pro Tips On Southeast Asian Girly Bars
The first thing you need to know is that these places are very aggressive at trying to get as much money as possible from you and you will get hounded often. Particularly in the Philippines where the bars are less crowded from the moment you walk in all eyes will be on you.
If you are the shy type it can be really awkward to get rushed from the start but eventually you will get over it. You will definitely need to be able to tell girls no or else they will run you over and have you spending lots of money.
Some girls will make all of their money only from ladies drinks and won’t do barfines. They can be very good at getting guys to buy them drink after drink and then when the time comes for him to ask her to leave she says she can’t.
To avoid this you should probably ask any girl if she can barfine (or leave with you) during the first drink so you don’t get suckered in. At some bars there are also ‘double ladies drinks’ that will cost 1.5x or 2x as much. There really is no reason to buy a double as it won’t get you anything extra.
If you don’t like wasting money make sure that you point out that you want to buy a single. Not all bars have doubles so you may need to inquire once inside. Some waitresses can be very pushy about getting a double instead, or buying the girl a second drink real quickly, or even buying a ladies drink for the waitress.
Again you must be able to say no, some of them are like sharks and if they smell blood in the water they will attack. Some guys can’t handle it and leave certain bars because the waitresses and girls are so pushy.
The waitress knows you don’t want to look cheap in front of the girl, just remember she is a hooker and you don’t need to try and impress her. If you look like a pushover she will probably respect you less anyways.
If you are new to Asia you may not know how to talk to the girls. You want to always keep the mood light and have a smile on your face. The more comfortable she is with you the better your night will go. Remember that these girls try to think of themselves as not being hookers so don’t treat her like one.
If you are going to be spending a lot of time in SEA and going with lots of girls reading this Filipinas 101 eBook may help you out a lot. It was written specifically for Filipinas but is a good way to handle girls anywhere in SEA.
The last tip is so important it deserves its own section.
Don’t Fall in Love With A Bargirl
That sweet innocent looking Asian girl with a big smile on her face that looks cute as a button might be a hardened pro and you will never know it. These girls will lie to you all the time and until you REALLY know one you shouldn’t believe what they say.
So many girls will say they are new to the bar scene cuz they know guys like to think they aren’t washed up hookers. Maybe its true with this girl, but its probably not. These girls know how to extract maximum value from you and can be very good at it.
Don’t fall in love with them, don’t send them money after you leave town, and don’t believe that they aren’t going with other guys. There are so many girls that have ‘Western Union’ guys who they spent one weekend with and fooled.
Now they get money sent to them every month from some dude they don’t care about at all. They hop on Skype with him every once in awhile and tell him what he wants to hear and then they head to Western Union and grab his money.
The next day they are on Skype with another guy and another and another. Don’t be one of those guys. While you need to try and act like you aren’t picking up a whore remember that she is a whore and just because she tells you she loves you after a week that doesn’t make it true.
That isn’t to say that you can’t ever meet a good girl at a bar. There are plenty of honest bar girls around, but if you are a noob to the bar scene they will know it and you will be attracting the savvy vets who want to rip you off.
If you do happen to fall for a girl test her by not sending her any money. If she continues to Skype with you and show you real interest when you aren’t paying her then maybe you really have something. But she is going to need to do a lot to prove that she is different then the other girls.
Have Fun Sampling the Southeast Asian Nightlife
The girly bars are one of the main reasons there are so many expats living in Southeast Asia. You can meet some very sexy girls here and have a whole lot of fun.
Just remember that you are considered a mark the second you walk through the door and don’t be a pushover. It is OK to say no, and saying no early will let them know not to target you so much.
Treat the girls with respect and like real people and they will give you much better service. If you treat them like a hooker or piece of property they may not be as kind to you in return. At the same time always remember that their goal is to get your money.
You definitely need to head over and see a Southeast Asian girly bar for yourself, you will not regret it. Here is a good book for adjusting to what things are like in Southeast Asia.