Things Every New Stoner Should Know


This post was going to be titled ‘If I could go back to the first time I smoked weed and tell myself certain things, what would I want to say’ but then it became clear that title was way too long. So instead, we are going with ‘Things Every New Stoner Should Know.’

This gets the same point across and won’t make you fall asleep before you finish reading the title. You can certainly smoke a lot of weed throughout your life and not know these things and be fine, but your life as a stoner will be better off for reading them.

Not everyone will agree with the things that are written here, but not everyone agrees on anything ever so that isn’t a big deal. These are just certain things we learned over the years that might make things a little better for a new pothead.

Some of them we will go into detail on, others will just be a one liner. Enough of the preamble already lets get going.

Drive Slow With Your THC Tolerance


Undoubtedly within months of smoking you will be told about how great ‘nugs’ or ‘KB’ or ‘chronic’ or ‘superweed’ or whatever the kids are calling it these days is. Yes, there is some weed that is way better then that crappy bricked Mexican shwag you will start out with.

But when you first start out you don’t need the good stuff, and you should be happy about that. You are living in a wonderful time where 2 hits of some of the crappiest weed on the planet will get you high for hours. A few years from now all that will give you is a headache.

Be glad that you can spend next to nothing to get high. Be glad that you can poke holes in a coke can and make a terrible pipe and have it get the job done. Right now your life as a stoner is cheap and easy, there is nothing wrong with that.

You will know when it is time to step up to the 50 for an 1/8th stuff, but that is a long ways away. For the next few years enjoy your crappy shwag, it will do the same for you as the good stuff will so get as much out of it as you can.

Once you make the switch it will be hard to go back. So drive slow, don’t force it, and make the move when it becomes necessary. At the same time you need to realize that your tolerance is something you should not play around with.

Just as there is no reason to smoke the expensive weed now there is no reason to overdo it with the crap weed either. At some point you are going to reach a level that is as high as you can get. Putting any more THC in your system is just wasting weed that can be used at a later time.

Always try to give yourself some days off, and every once in awhile try and take a week off. That week will give your tolerance level a reset and you will be amazed how much that can help. Of course as a noob that isn’t as important for you now, but one day it will be.

You should never do heroin, but many people say that every time a junkie does H after their first time they are always trying to recapture that first high. Well weed is somewhat similar, just not nearly as addicting.

Take care of your tolerance and it will make things a lot better for you during your life as a pothead.

Certain Things With Weed Are Overrated

You always hear about certain things and when your stoner buddies are talking about them and you are high off your ass they sound great. Then you end up trying them and realize that they were not worth the time nor the effort.

Don’t try to grow weed outdoors in your neighborhood park, or anywhere for that matter, unless you own a farm in Hawaii or something. This just never works out, it takes far too long to do, and it is going to die before the season ends.

Most likely it will die within weeks of you planting it. You can’t just expect a small baby plant to survive in any sort of rough weather conditions. Strong winds, heavy rains, or any other in-climate weather will end your project just as it began.

You may think you know of some super secret outdoor grow spot at the neighborhood park, but you don’t. The world is a small place and plenty of other kids in the area have certainly walked back there before.

And in the months that it takes to grow the plant some will be back again. If you do somehow miraculously get it to survive through the weather and then have no one else find it you are going to be smoking some crappy weed anyways. Just don’t bother.

Another overrated thing is weed brownies. Don’t buy a bunch of weed and waste a bunch of money making them. They really don’t get you very high (if at all) on their own, and since you are going to smoke when you eat them you will get high anyways.

They are a fun thing to do a time or two with your buddies, but don’t have huge expectations for them. They rarely pan out like that.

Ice in a bong is highly overrated and will make your mouth water hard core. Put some ice in the water if you want to try and cool the smoke, but you don’t need ice up the whole tube.

Remember that glass can break if there is a quick temperature change. If you just bought your first expensive glass bong don’t make the rookie mistake of putting so much ice in it that the glass is freezing cold before the lighter hits it. Chilled water is OK, ice water is too much for glass.


Lastly Garcia Vega Greenleaf blunts are a mirage. Yes, you will get more hits by smoking a blunt rolled in a vega green leaf, but ask yourself why? Do you really think you are getting more weed into your lungs because of them?

There are plenty of rumors out there that they make your heart bleed, or your lungs bleed. Who knows it that is true or not, but there are enough rumors to make you want to wonder.

One thing is for sure, you are smoking a whole lot more tobacco when you smoke one of them then when you smoke a different blunt, and the point is to smoke weed not tobacco right?

Random Quick Hitting Pothead Advice


For shwag it doesn’t matter, but when you graduate to better weed keep it in some sort of a jar, don’t keep it in a baggie and have all the crystals getting smashed on the bag.

Do your best to always smoke through a waterbong/pipe or a vaporizer. It isn’t a healthy thing to do, but it is certainly healthier then through papers or some crappy glass pipe.

Not only for health reasons though, when it goes through water you can take in bigger hits and bigger hits means you will get higher. This is a good way to conserve weed also.

Want to trick your friends into getting more hits then them? Learn how to ‘shotgun’ a joint because every time that you give someone a shotgun you get to take a hit of your own.

Never let anyone hold on to your sack. They are going to ‘pinch’ just a little bit every damn time. Unless you pull out a digi on them and way it how are you going to prove it?

Never bring drugs on school property. This should probably be rule #1 if you are still in school. Your odds of getting caught with drugs on you are so much higher here then anywhere else.

If you have nowhere to smoke just drive around in neighborhoods (slowly!) in middle/upper class areas of the city. The cops will make their rounds on the main roads, but inside the neighborhoods you will almost never see them.

Hopefully some of these things every new stoner should know will make your smoking experience a little bit better.  If you need to buy any bongs, pipes, or accessories click here.



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