Getting Over A Fear Of Rejection
Far to many guys struggle with getting over a fear of rejection. This hampers them throughout their life and not only for dating. But dating is probably where it holds them back the most.
As we all know meeting women is a numbers game and if you are afraid to make an attempt you are never going to end up getting anything. You can keep waiting for that one magic moment where a drunk chick walks past your apartment right as you are exiting and porn music is heard in the back ground, or you can make it happen yourself.
It is certainly easier said then done to get over this. But once you break those initial barriers you will realize how easy it really is and you may even find it enjoyable to take some shots.
It is always fun to have new experiences and if approaching women isn’t something that you do often then trying it out can give you a thrill that not many other things can give. First lets take a look at how this is holding you back.
Why Fear Of Rejection is Bad
They say that 10% of guys have 90% of the casual sex in the world. Is this because all of those 10% are so good looking? That probably has something to do with it. But another reason is that such a small percentage of guys will actually approach women.
To many guys think ‘that will never work so no reason to try.’ The truth is it won’t ‘never’ work. Sure it may not work out often, and you are going to get rejected far more often then you succeed.
But if you NEVER try then you will NEVER succeed. What is so bad about being rejected anyways? Some random stranger you don’t know and will likely never see again didn’t want to give you her number. Who cares?
You lost a minute of your time and gave yourself a chance to get it. Is it worth risking 1 minute to possibly have sex with this attractive female? If you are reading this post then your answer is probably yes.
Like many things in life dating is a numbers game. If you have a 3% success rate that might sound low, but if you approach 3 women every day then each month you will probably have sex with 3 new women.
If you approach 0 women it doesn’t matter if you have a 100% success rate you still ain’t gonna get anything.
Ways To Get Over Fear Of Rejection
Like many things in life there is no magic answer to this. There is no easy fix to this. You just have to do it. When you go out be on the look out for ways to try.
Maybe start out innocently. When you see a girl working somewhere approach her as a customer first. Don’t even have getting her number on your mind. Just break that first barrier of walking up and talking to a woman.
Go up to Best Buy and find the cutest sales girl. Whatever she is selling go up and ask her questions about it. Don’t let her come to you, you go to her. Get used to approaching and opening with women even if it is in a sort of fake way. Trick your brain into making it normal.
As silly as it may sound getting a job or part time job in customer service, something like a waiter, could really help. A waiter has to walk up to a table of strangers 10 times a day and start a conversation.
That will make things so much easier for them for the rest of their lives. Bartenders also. OK that isn’t a practical solution for most people, but it is thinking outside of the box. Put yourself in positions that you aren’t used to and start to broaden your horizons.
The more comfortable you are at approaching people in general the more comfortable you will be approaching girls to try and get their number.
Now Time For Hitting on Women
You can try the last advice or you can just skip it all together and jump in head first. The next time you see a very hot girl that you would never dream of approaching……… do it.
For some people dipping a toe in that cold pool and slowly easing in is the best way. For others doing a cannonball and taking the initial shock right off the bat works better.
If you approach a super hot girl once then approaching a 7 will be so much easier the next time. You just approached a 9…… who cares what this 7 thinks.
Walk up with confidence, give her a compliment on her appearance, her style, or anything, and start a conversation. If it doesn’t go well don’t sweat it. You just jumped the biggest hurdle of them all and each time it will get even easier.
Start out with quick approaches. Don’t over talk them just a quick chat, say you have to run, and ask for their number because you really enjoyed talking to them and want to do it again. Maybe they give it, maybe they don’t.
Some guys like to put the ball in the girls court. Write her a cute note on a small piece of paper with your number on it. Walk up to her, say excuse me I saw you before and wanted to give you this.
Hand her the paper say have a nice day and walk off. This is a baby step for getting over your fear of rejection that is still giving yourself a chance. Some girls may not take the piece of paper, some girls may think you are a total dork…….. it only takes one to think its cute to make it all worth it.
Practice With Online Dating
If you really can never get over that face to face rejection then try out online dating. You can at least click on a dating site profile and send a girl a message right? She might reply or she might not, might as well try.
Remember 15 years ago when people were afraid to tell someone they met their partner online? Now online dating is the main way people do it and a big reason why is there is no fear of rejection.
It is a whole lot easier to send a random webpage a message then it is to walk up a woman in a public setting and try to chat her up. You can just go this route for the rest of your life and do alright.
Or you can try to use this to trick your brain into thinking it is actually approaching girls. Get yourself used to making that first contact whether it is online or in person. Then once you have ‘approached’ 100 girls online when you see a girl out and about you might feel like it is more natural to make an attempt.
This may sound silly but our brains work in mysterious ways. Plus if it doesn’t work at least you have just contacted 100 girls and might be able to turn that into something.
Getting Over a Fear Of Rejection Isn’t Only About Dating
If you have a fear of rejection with women then you may have a fear of rejection in other aspects of life as well. This may be holding you back in more ways then you even realize.
You may not be making as much money as you could be because you are afraid to take risks. Life is all about risk vs reward and if you are completely afraid of failure you are unlikely to get big rewards.
That doesn’t mean that you should be heading to Vegas to put it all on black, but small risks can sometimes have big rewards. Speak up at an office meeting, take on a risky project. Try some self employed work that could possibly get you out of that boring 9 to 5.
Throughout life there will be doors open to you and you will need to walk through some of them. The sooner you start getting over a fear of rejection the sooner you will start to achieve all the things you hope to achieve.